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You've probably heard the saying, “let go and let God.” Some argue that isn't exactly biblical, but I'm not here to argue. The basis for this saying is relinquish control and give it God. The ironic thing about that, is we were never, are never, in control in the first place. Reality is, God is always in control. We have nothing to worry about as a result. But being the humans we are, we want to be better than God. We want to have what we say goes instead of what God's said. We want to be in control, and act like we know more than God. God may say “don't date that person, you're unequally yoked.” But you, being a stubborn human being like we are, says “No, God, I know better than you. I can turn this person towards you, I know I can.” But of course the end result is heartache and you feel shaken as a result of the relationship not working out. When we “give up control” we are actually just surrendering the “right” to be right, be in control, and act and live as if we are better or know better than God, which we aren't and we don't. Truthfully, God is always in control, and our lives become “smooth as sailing” when we surrender and relinquish up our control over the lives He's so generously given us. Submit yourselves therefore to God, resist the devil, and he shall flee from you. (James 4:7) Submit to God and be at peace with Him; in this way prosperity will come to you. (Job 22:21) You are LOVED!! Thank you for reading and God bless you lovely darling!! Melody
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I haven’t blogged in awhile. Reason being Satan has kept me from doing so. I’ve been through and learned and accomplished a lot in these last few months. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t blogged since April 10th. It’s August. I can’t evens say it was because of summer, because I am still in school, despite my graduation party lol. Obviously, there is something powerful going on thru my blog, in my blog. Not because of me. Absolutely NOTHING I have done, but it is all God, and He gets all the glory. While I had been in the season of blogging constantly, regularly, there were numerous attacks on my blog. The page never loaded, I would always have trouble uploading, facebook wouldn’t connect and I’d have to post it there manually instead of weebly doing it for me. There were a million and one things. Then, from April till now, I’ve just gotten discouraged. “No one reads my blog anyway..” I would think, despite over 500 views in less than 6 months. “No one likes my blog...” I’d say, despite the countless compliments I got and the encouragement to keep going. But I stopped. I listened to the discouragement, the enemy’s voice, and I stopped blogging. At one point I even thought, “Well, I’ll probably never blog again.” wrong! I am here to stay, I will blog and keep blogging till the day I die. God wants to do something great thru me and this blog, and I hope you will follow along thru the journey. Thank you for keeping up with me all this time, and having patience as I lacked in uploading things! The good news is that I’ve been writing a book, so at least I was doing something. But on the other side, I have so much to catch up on, so much to tell you. Thank you again so much for reading! Now, let’s get right to it. Over the past few months, the most important thing I’ve learned from an older friend/mentor/spiritual mom/okay it’s Catrina, is to get out of my mind. Stop living in my anxious, sad thoughts, and get right to the root of things. Stop settling, getting stuck for ages, and not moving forward. If something is bothering me, work towards figuring out a solution, if I want something, work towards it. Don’t give up. Always trust and depend on God, and keep moving forward. Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33. Let’s go!
I get insecure about my walk with God’s sometimes. Everyone’s looks different, but is mine significant? I would look around, see how sometimes people would draw in their Bibles, color entire pages, and some swore by a certain version, telling me I was wrong if it wasn’t the King James. I didn’t know what to think, how could following Jesus be so uniting, like it was meant to be, but also tear others apart? The answer is opinion. It is someone’s opinions that you should only read the King James Version. It is my opinion that you shouldn’t draw in your Bible. It is someone else’s opinion that you cannot please God without doing everything perfectly. It is someone’s else’s opinion that... okay, you get my point. Opinions getting in the way is what creates religion. Following Jesus means to have a relationship with God, and live your life the way He did before His death and resurrection. Serving, thinking of others before yourself, letting God keep you humble, and loving people right where they are at, amongst other things... Religion is when it becomes, “You need to pray to God 5 times a day, or He’s not gonna care about you.” Lie! The Truth is, God will always care about you, and everything you do.( though don't be scared to pray often!) He cares about what you say, and how your walk with Him is going. A walk with God does not look like everyone else's. I don’t like to draw in my Bible, my friend does. That’s okay. I have another friend that swears only by the KJV. I don’t, I like my NIV, or the ESV, or the ASV, doesn’t matter to me, they’re all the Bible. Now The Message Bible... I’m kidding. Basic thing is, our walk with God is going to be different than everyone else’s, no walk is going to be the same. So don’t feel insecure if your friend does one thing, maybe she talks to God out loud and you like to write, that’s okay. Don’t care about what others think: your walk with God is just that, with God. Focus on pleasing Him, loving Him and then others, and just doing your best. Read your Bible, keep your heart open to His requests, and serve Him with your everything. God loves you, is for you, and looks forward to relationship with you. So stop comparing, and start talking to Goddie. He is for you!
Melody Obedience isn’t always easy, or enjoyable. Your mom may tell you to clean your car, or do the dishes, both of which you may not want to do, but because she is your mom, and you love and want to respect her, you do them. God wants nothing less when He tells us to do something, too. Like how the Bible tells us to honor and respect our parents, we must also honor and respect God. So when God told me to go to Haiti, I did it. I got my passport, packed my bags, and with your help, God’s blessing, and some asking I got all the money needed to go. It was a difficult week, which I haven’t shared much about, but I am still so glad I was obedient. I learned a lot on that week, met a few more awesome friends, got close to people, served my heart out, taught, met new kids and played with them, thank you God, that was another prayer request to like them. (until I shut down, I don’t naturally like kids haha) Lots of different prayers were answered, things/situation were fixed by God, bonds were mended, a lot of awesome experiences, etc. you name it, it happened in Haiti that week. It was crazy, and I was super exhausted. It’s been a week since I’ve been back, and I’m still a little tired honestly. It was good, it was just a lot. Anyway, back to obedience. Going to Haiti is something God asked me to do. I could’ve backed out, said “No way” and decided not to trust Him, but I am so glad that I did! I am glad to be able to go to Haiti, to share and take part in a new wonderful experience. It was a lot, and it was exhausting, but I don’t regret it one bit. Now, I’m not sure about going back anytime soon, but I am glad I went. God also asked me to read a book, “Passion and Purity” by Elisabeth Elliot. At first, I was like “Okay” and I went on Amazon to order it. Then, I read the negative reviews. All of them. So I didn’t buy the book, and this was a little over a year ago. About a month or so ago, I was reminded of being obedient and reading that book. It was definitely insightful, and I read it while in Haiti during our off time. If I would’ve read it a year and a half ago when God told me to, I could’ve saved myself from a lot of pain and strife. But did I listen? Noooo, I did what I wanted to do. Cause isn’t that always the smartest thing? Being better than God is not possible, it’s funny that I tried. Anyway, that book was very important in my walk, and I am glad that I have read it. Kind of want to reread, don’t think I fully comprehended it, but it’s an awesome book. I am glad I was obedient to Christ in that. After these things, God gave me something to obey that I’ve talked about before: dating a certain guy. I said no immediately. Again, playing God here. It took about a week for God to convince me this was the person He has for me, and that I need to trust Him. So after much thought, I did choose to trust and follow Him in this. Along the way, God has shown me even more evidence that this guy lines up with everything God had already shown me. It was kind of a scary thing, ya know? Not sure how it would, if it would, work out. We were so distant it seemed, but if this what God said was best for me, then I will wholeheartedly take it from you, my King. Thank you very much for it, this gift of this relationship. I love it and appreciate it. And one last thing God has told me to be obedient about regarding this relationship: do nothing. I legitimately feel like this is that Spongebob episode with the magic conch shell. They ask the magic conch shell, “Oh magic conch shell! What shall we do?” as they’re sitting in the middle of the kelp forest lost, with no food or shelter. And it says, “nothing”. That’s how I feel. God’s told me to do nothing, wait on Him, trust, and don’t chase. That’s it. Nothing else. Which, of course, is really hard. I want to move, to take this in my own hands, to be the commander of the army here, but I’m not. I’m not God and He is. It’s like standing perfectly still when everything around you seems to be moving. There’s a Bible story where an army is coming straight at Johoshaphat and his army, and God tells them to stand still:
2 Chronicles 20:13-17New International Version (NIV)13 All the men of Judah, with their wives and children and little ones, stood there before the Lord. 14 Then the Spirit of the Lord came on Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendant of Asaph, as he stood in the assembly. 15 He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. 16 Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. 17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’” (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Chronicles%2020:13-17) In the same way, this battle is not mind, but God’s. He has told me to face them, face the one He’s called me towards, but otherwise, do nothing. He’s also told me to stand still relating to college, and wait till He tells me to move. So I will still in regards to that, too. I’ll trust Him, wait on Him, do nothing, and then I’ll get to see God move. Thank you, and God bless you, Melody Haiti did not break my heart in the same way that everyone else did. I don't really miss the kids. I don't like mission trips. I could care less about anything. I did not enjoy Haiti, I loved my team. I was struggling the entire week, mentally and spiritually. I had a lot of great support that I definitely needed. God taught me a lot. However, I can't say I gave my heart to Haiti, because I didn't. I tried and did my best, but the real me came out anyway. I was trying so hard to be “her”. The girl everyone loves. She loves missions, loves Haiti, loves kids. I do not like any of those things. I am not “her” and will never be “her”. I am me, and I think, no, I know, God brought me to Haiti to show me just that. He showed me what I'm not. He told me to stop being someone else. He created me the way I am for a reason, and He loves me just the way I am, because I am exactly Who I am. I learned, realized, I don't have to be like everyone else. I don't have to like Haiti, or missions, or kids. I can just be me, and that's okay. I did love Haiti in the sense of I had a great team, we were unified, I “fell in love” with so many people and so many people “fell in love” with me. In a team kind of way haha. I am in love with God. My home is wherever He is, and wherever He calls me. If God calls me anywhere, I will go. If He calls me to say something, I'll try my best to say it... if He leads me to date a certain person, I will trust Him with it, because I have to, and I want to trust God. I'll leave it all to God, lean back, surrender, and just be glad in who I am. I am Melody Lynn (Grace) Collins. I am the daughter of the King of Kings, and with Him I will have victory, for He is my victory and I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Thank you and God bless you.
Melody. Like I said in my latest Blog entry, God is faithful and awesome enough to get me to Haiti! I received my passport earlier than I had originally anticipated, and have almost all of my paperwork for the trip turned into the Church. In the beginning I needed $600 in 31 days, and I am very glad to say that in only two weeks I am almost fully funded! I only need $100 left, and then I am all set! I am honestly nervous about going to Haiti, it is a whole new experience, and just something I’ve never done before. I’ve never been on a mission trip, and I’ve never gone to Haiti. It’ll be completely new to me, but I trust God, and I know I will be alright. I am called to go to Haiti, to go on this mission trip, to serve and love on, and “be” Jesus Christ to these people. So, despite my nervousness, fears, bad energy, whatever, I’m going to Haiti. God’s already there. I will remain calm, and safe. God will protect me, and all will end well. Thank you again for the prayerful and/or financial support to my mission trip to Haiti, God bless you, and thank you again!!
Lots of love, Melody About a month or so ago, I came across the book, "The Circle Maker," in Books-A-Million, and recalled it was a book that my bible study leader had recommended. I immediately ordered it cheaper online, and starting reading it the second it came in. It is a book on prayer, communicating with God, and finding out what He wants for your life. It’s about circling and praying around dreams, and fears, dedicating both to God. A little off to the side, a little while back I had been at Church, and was reading over a missions pamphlet. As I read it, I heard God say very loudly, "I'm calling you." But He didn't say where. Wishing to be obedient, I asked Him where He wanted me to go. I just felt He wanted me to go soon. I knew the next Mission Trip was Haiti, so I asked God to let me know if that was where He wanted me. Another young adult mission trip was coming up sometime this year for Botswana. I didn't know where to go, and I prayed to God to let me know where I should go. I specifically asked if He would speak through someone else and let them tell me where He wants me to go. The next day, without thinking much about that prayer request, Ms. Kadie Duncan came out of nowhere, pointed at me and said, "You're going to Haiti in the Name of Jesus." What else did I need? Of course as a human I doubted, but chose to trust God anyway, and go forward as if I was going to Haiti. I started circling Haiti in prayer, and emailed my youth pastor, who forwarded my email to our Church's missions department. Of course, when a trips spots are all taken and someone says, "God says I'm going to Haiti" it honestly doesn't sound too believable, or possible. But God!! The woman at missions replied to me, and I was told I'd need a substantial amount of the total $1,800 and a passport immediately, as in, 24 hours. I didn't exactly have in 24 hours, but I pursued getting my passport, where God performed a miracle all His own. I called one post office, and they said the earliest date they could get me in for a passport appointment was March 1. Of course I was a bit discouraged, but chose to trust God anyway. The lady on the phone redirected me to call the county clerk's office. I prayed the whole time the phone rang saying, "God, I trust You. I trust You. I trust You. I trust You." Then a woman answered the phone, and after I explained the need for a passport by the end of February, she said, "I can get you in this week, how's Tuesday at 3?" Tuesday, my day off, 3PM, 3 being a special number between God and I, and it was in the afternoon, which was perfect. That alone was amazing. At my passport appointment, my number was "117" Halo being my favorite game, and Master Chief is Spartan number 117, so I felt like God wanted me to know this was going well, like He wanted me to relax. I still felt discouraged up and down, not really sure if me going to Haiti was truly supposed to happen. A little while later, Pastor Chris told me my best chances of going would be turning in my money first. I didn't exactly have it, and so I reached out to someone who very kindly and generously lent me the money I needed. Today, 2-7-17, my name was officially added to the team, and just like God told me in the first place, I'm going to Haiti. However, I do need to fund my trip still, and would also so so so appreciate some prayer! I only need $600, so I believe it is very possible to get this in 31 days! I absolutely 110% appreciate any sort of gift you could donate to my missions fund, and would like to say thank you in advance! I will try my best to thank everyone personally, but if for whatever reason I don’t, please know I appreciate you and your donation to the mission trip! If you cannot donate, that is okay! Thank you again, and have a great day!
Thank you very much and lots of love, Melody To donate, click here! https://secure.qgiv.com/event/account/478673/ (Thank you!) I’ve written on expectations before, but that original entry focused on expecting great things from God. But, back to the basics for a second, just what are expectations? Expectations are when you have a situation, idea, dream, thought, etc. and you expect it to turn out a certain way. For example, I expected the guy I like to accept me, and want me. I also expected him to be perfect, read my mind, and know my every need. Kind of Jesus-level expectations I had there. I’m fairly new to it, but I want to start expecting nothing out of people. Don’t expect perfection, don’t expect them to know and want to know everything about me, because, as I’m still learning, the world does not revolve around me. It’s also not fair to have such high expectations, and put so much pressure on people. People in my own life have set high expectations on me, and I feel that if I don’t make them, they won’t like or love me anymore. And for me, that is too much pressure. I can’t please them, God, and whoever else all at the same time, I have to choose... People’s expectations of me are like what I expected of Lovely, too high for me to reach. People’s expectations put pressure on me, make me crumble, and give me anxiety. They are not something I can attain on my own, because I am human. They want me to reach this, “good enough” level. When you get straight A’s, you’ll be good enough. When you get a 5 year degree, you’ll be good enough. When you have your own house, kids, car, whatever! I will never, ever be good enough -- Not for those types of people. I will never be perfect, like they want me to be. But God, God says I am good enough. He’s proud of me no matter what I do. No matter how many accomplishments I have or not, I still mean the world to Him, and He’s still cheering for me. He doesn’t give up on me, and doesn’t want me to give up, either. He knows me, knows I can do better, and will help me to reach that goal. He doesn’t leave me alone, doesn’t abandon me. He doesn’t say, “go reach perfection on your own” He’s right there with me every step of the way, it’s a new day. He reminds me His mercies are new every morning. What goal can we reach today? How can we help those who are hurting? God’s first and foremost goal is His glory, and like David Platt said, who else would you rather glorify? The God of the Universe, or some random person? Back to expectations. God’s expectations for us are not too high, as in, they’re not impossible for us to reach. (Nothing is impossible with God, but you know what I mean.) They are expectations that are perfectly attainable. Taking a breath a few seconds from now, that’s attainable. God’s goals for us aren’t quite that small necessarily, but we’re that capable of completing them. God’s expectations for us are clear: to become more and more like Him. To let our hearts be changed by His love, so that we may become new, different people, and change the world. Some things might seems small, like a paper clip, or sticky notes, but in their own way, they changed the world. We might feel small. We might think, “my one act of kindness, or me forgiving this rude stranger, or me doing something ‘small’ for the Kingdom couldn’t possibly make a difference.” But it does. That person who you helped will think of you later, and wonder why you stepped out of the way, put everything aside, including yourself, and helped that person out. Jesus said that this is how the world will know that we are His disciples, by loving one another. Loving someone is putting their needs ahead of ours. That’s our goal, that’s what God expects of us. He fills you with His love, and you go out and spread it to the world. Then the person you impacted eventually discovers His love, shares it with someone else, and that goes on and on until the whole Earth is filled. (That is my dream!) But we can’t do that sitting still! God expects us to move, to go out, to be radical. Don’t be the same, don’t blend in. God doesn’t expect us, or at least want us, to try to be like Him and then try to blend in with the world at the same time. God and the world function very differently, and you have to choose which way you’re willing to go. Eternity, or temporary. Never being good enough, or being told by the God who loves you, “you are always enough” . Pleasing others, or pleasing God. (and He isn’t difficult to please!) It’s one or the other, you can’t do both. Lastly, you have the choice between trying to reach expectations you can never truly satisfy from other people, or expectations from a God who knows your limits, talents, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, and wants to turn it into something amazing. Don’t let the unreachable expectations of the world fool you, thinking that if you press yourself hard enough, and give in, you’ll be good enough. Instead, run into the arms of God, who says, “My love, my darling, you are always enough for me, and I am always proud of you. Don’t be afraid to come home.”
You are LOVED!! And thank you for reading! Lots of love, Melody Opening up to the book of Esther, I thought I’d be writing about our relationship with the King, as in relating our relationship with her King to us with ours, Jesus. Instead, I found that God wanted to teach me a lesson about respect. As I read the book of Esther, I noticed the theme of respect became more and more noticeable. It began with King Xerxes’ wife, Queen Vashti, disrespecting him. (if a queen disrespects her husband, it will only inspire all the other women to disrespect their husbands) The King’s word was law, so when she disrespected him by not coming to him when he called her, she was banished from his sight. We skip forward a little bit to find that all of the beautiful virgins in the land had been summoned, so that one may be chosen to be the new queen for King Xerxes. Here we meet Esther, who was raised by her Uncle Mordecai, and they were both of Jewish descent. Her obedience and respect for authority led her to be favored by Hegai, who was in charge of preparing the young women to be chosen. He gave her attendants, the best room, beauty treatments, and special food, all because she won his favor by respecting and obeying him completely. As the story goes along, Esther is eventually chosen by the King to be the new queen. However, by order of her Uncle, she doesn’t reveal her background of being a Jew. Directly underneath the King in authority is Haman, and long story short, Mordecai offends him by not bowing down to him, eventually leading to a decree that says that all Jews are to be killed, destroyed, and annihilated. Which, to Haman’s satisfaction, also means that Mordecai is to be killed. The decree is sent out in all different languages in all the regions that King Xerxes rules over. Mordecai also ends up reading the decree, and immediately tears his clothes. Which meant that he was in distress, mourning, anger, etc. With the help of messengers, he and Esther communicate back and forth. Her tells her she must go before the King and request that this decree be repealed. Esther is afraid at first, letting her Uncle know that anyone who comes before the King unannounced and not called upon is killed, unless the King extends his mercy with his golden scepter, saving their life. Mordecai points out, “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Eventually, Esther agrees, and goes before the King. She doesn’t make her request right away, but invites the King and Haman, to a banquet of her own. The King tells her any request, even up to half of the Kingdom, is hers if she asks for it. However, she does not make her request that night. Instead she tells them to come back again the next night, for another baquet. This might seem like a random diversion, but it turns out that through this the King learns about Mordecai, who a bit before had reported two men that he overheard were wanting to assassinate the King. After finding out about what Mordecai had done for him, the King immediately wanted to honor him. The next day, the King asks Haman what he should do to someone who the King delights to honor? Haman, thinking of himself, describes this grand scene, only to be told that he is to that to Mordecai. Later on, when Esther’s second banquet comes around, she makes her request, explaining that someone is coming after her life, and her people’s lives, and that they seek to destroy, kill, and annihilate all of them. Immediately King Xerxes wants to know who would dare do such a thing, and Esther points at Haman. The King is enraged, and Haman’s fate is sealed. To makes things worse, Haman leaning on the Queen as she lie reclined, in order to beg for his life, is mistaken by King Xerxes as Haman trying to force himself on the Queen. Haman then ends being killed in the same way he intended to kill Mordecai, impaled on a seventy five foot pole. What does this all have to do with respect? I left out most of the dialogue, but because Esther obeyed her Uncle and did exactly what he asked when he asked it, she was able to intercede in her Uncle’s place and save her people. Not only that, but because she chose to set such an example of respect, she inspired other women to respect their husbands, and authority in general. This shows the importance of respect, and obedience. Women are called to respect their husbands, and husbands are called to love their wives. I don’t know if you’ve ever sat back and thought about love, it is a crazy, grueling thing to love someone. Choosing someone else and their needs over you every single day, that’s what love is. And that’s crazy, and it sounds hard, and quite honestly I can be lazy sometimes. But if my husband is called to do that for me, then the least I can do is what I’m called to do, and that is respect him fully. Likewise, God pursues us every single moment out of love for us, He chooses us to do things for His glory, but also keeps in mind what is best for us, and does so. Because of that, the least we can do is respect him. (It is also a great joy to love Him back. And from loving Him we learn how to truly love others, and that is the greatest thing of all.)
You are truly, deeply, and wildly LOVED by God! Look for it, He shows His love to you today and everyday!! Thanks!! Melody In case you haven’t noticed, things won’t always go your way. You might want a sunny day, and then it rains. You might go to a restaurant and try to order your favorite thing, and it turns out they are out of it. Or, surprisingly, you might want one thing, and that doesn’t happen, but something even better happens instead. Like maybe you wanted to take a road you’re familiar with to get somewhere, but there is a detour, and you’re forced to go the other way, you’re forced to take a new and/or unfamiliar road. At first, you’d probably be really upset, “But I know this road! I can’t get lost on this road, I’ve been down it so many times! I know all the stops on this road, if I need food, I know where I can eat. If I need to fill up the car, I know exactly where all the gas stations are!” But you have no choice, so you take the new road. The other, a little scary and/or intimidating, unfamiliar road. And guess what? You see a rainbow as you drive, because on this road, there aren’t as many trees or buildings, and the sky is open to you. Because of that, you see a beautiful sunset as well. Along the road, there are colorful, charming little houses, each one unique and beautiful. You get hungry and so you stop a diner, and it turns out you love everything on the menu. The people here are nice, and point you to a local gas station, and you realize, maybe taking the new, unfamiliar, not-what-you-wanted, path was the better way all along. Lately, I’ve had a lot of redirection in my life. I was supposed to start going to a certain school come January. I was going to be with my friends, graduate with all of them, and get used to public school again, so that college life would be easy. I was also going to move into my friend Tiffany’s house, which to me seemed like peace, because there’s only one dog, it’s clean, and it would be a change that I needed. It would also be quiet, I could focus on my school work, get stuff done, and succeed more than I feel I can at home. I was looking forward to it. But then things changed, a detour happened. The school I was supposed to go to denied me. They told me one thing for the past six months as I was preparing to go to the school, but when I got there they made up all this stuff, and had changed their minds about allowing me to attend. There were things they said , “yes” to over the phone, but in person they decided to say, “no”. And it was heartbreaking, I was really upset. I can’t graduate with my friends now, and I no longer had a reason to move into Tiffany’s house, an escape, a place where I could have a clear mind, and felt I could actually succeed. But, I was terrified of going to public school again. It’s so big, and there are so many rules I’ve lived without for the past few years, and so I was scared, and was really very relieved when I found out I didn’t have to go anymore. No, I can’t graduate with my friends, but these people are still my friends, even if I can’t graduate with them. And no, I’m not moving into Tiffany’s anymore, but now I’m realizing I could just drop myself off at the Library, and hang there until I get all my school work done. It’s quiet, and I’ll be able to concentrate. I trust God knows what He’s doing, and that everything happens for a reason. And this isn’t the end of all the redirection in my life, God’s been doing more. For the past six months or so, I’ve been interested in a certain guy, one that God has put on my heart, and continuously led me to. I trust that this is guy God’s been showing me over the years, and so I listened to God (mostly) as this was unraveling. But, then there was a roadblock that woke me up, which I mentioned in my last journal entry. See, magically, I thought this guy would know that I like him. I expected God to tell him for me, do all of the work, etc. That didn’t happen.(my friend pointed that though God gave the Israelites victory in their battles when they decided to rely on Him, they still had to go out and fight the actual battle. They didn’t get to sit at home, and let God do everything.) Finally, it came to the point where I realized, I’ve got to tell him how I felt. And I did. It was the craziest thing I’ve done in like, 10 years, but I did it. And it did not go the way I hoped. It hurt a lot not going my way, as in his reaction wasn’t what I hoped, and I had a really rough few days, but I realized God did not bring me this far just to leave me. No, it did not go my way, but it went the exact way it was supposed to go. We’re friends, and after calming down, I realized that was exactly what I wanted. And after flipping through my journal, I realized being his friend was my prayer, too. I am in no place to jump into a relationship, and if things had gone my way, that would’ve been my original intention. With everything going on in my life, I realized friendship is all I can handle, anyway. And best of all, this is where God wants me to be, this is where He wants this situation to be, and I am perfectly okay with that. I trust God, and if this is what He says and He wants, and then I’ll go with it, because that’s what I want, too. And through all of these things, even though they hurt, God let me know that He was with me the whole time. There was the one night of silence, but even then I felt God’s peace. He’s with me, with us, always, to the very end of the age. In closing, redirection may not always make sense, we may not be looking forward to it, in short, we may not like it. But we need it sometimes. I was scared to go to public school, and go at a different pace. Thank God, I don’t have to do that anymore. I can take the time I need to be successful. And half of the reason I wanted to go to Tiffany’s was to run away from my problems, and I’m realizing there are other solutions, and I don’t have to be stubborn and have tunnel-vision. There isn’t always only one solution to a problem, it’s not always going to go my way and be solved how I want it to. And with this guy, I’m learning to be content when things don’t go the way I hoped, or thought I wanted, I’m learning to be happy when things don’t go my way, and go God’s way instead, because I know that’s better. And I’m not ready to be in any sort of relationship, and God knows that, even if I didn’t want to admit it. So in reality, though it looks like a bunch of detours, u-turns, and Atlanta Georgia Traffic, everything is going exactly the way it’s supposed to, and because I know it’s from God, I am okay with that. And if everything in your life seems to be going crazy, just look right back at God. He’s bigger, and He knows what He’s doing, trust me on that. And trust God, He’ll get you through it all.
You are LOVED!! Melody |
Melody C.God has given me the natural talent as a writer. I felt Him encourage me in the direction of using my natural skill in writing for Him, instead of investing in skills that were basically going to waste. I have been writing my whole life. I love to answer questions, give advice, and share experiences. I hope you enjoy it, and I pray that God speaks through me and to you. If there are ever any typos, please ignore them. They will be fixed as soon as I notice them. Archives
February 2019
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