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Life hasn’t exactly gone right lately. Not in a lot of ways. I started college this past January. It was a new, exciting adventure. I was scared and unsure. I didn’t know where God was leading me, but I put my heart towards an accounting degree and started with three classes. There were lots of bumps with FAFSA and paperwork in general. But after a while all of those bumps eroded, and things went smoothly. I was going to class twice a week, turning in everything on time, loving my teachers, and really starting to feel good about college. This was about three weeks in. Having some trouble in my statistics class, I logged on so I could email my teacher. But upon logging in I discovered all of my classes had disappeared. I couldn’t understand why, but proceeded to go to school the next Monday. I’ll pause here and say that the day before, Sunday February 4th, I found my cats body. Kitty was our family member of 14 years. We’d had him since I was 4 years old. It was traumatizing to find him still and decaying on my brothers floor. There was no light in his eyes, and no bit of movement in his body. I kept thinking, “this is what dead looks like,” and the event has scarred me mentally ever since. I can’t even look at the other cats around the corner without thinking, “Kitty!” but it’s not him, it will never be him. Not ever again... Now, back to college. That Monday I did end up skipping first period since Kitty had died and I barely wanted to go to school. But my second and third class went about the same. English, Mrs. W kindly let me know I was removed for some reason, but she wasn’t sure why. Computer class, I couldn’t stay for more than a moment. I walked in and turned right around as my teacher informed me that I was removed but would be more than happy to take me back in. Long story short, I went to the office and found out my FAFSA had been mixed up. They accidentally awarded me my grant for summer class, but not for 2018 Spring Classes. Yeah, you read that right. SUMMER was approved, instead of SPRING. For no actual reason! They themselves were at a loss as to why it happened. For now, my college career was over. Life didn’t end there though! It went on for a few days, then just kind of ended all over again. A coworker, and friend of mine, had an aneurysm and died suddenly. This also happened to my last week at this job. (Double stress.) Gerald was an amazing person. He along with the whole Crew at Rick’s welcomed me as nothing less than blood family, and I was nowhere close to that. They loved me and cared about me more than any other employer ever had for sure. Gerald was a part of that big warm happy family. And losing Gerald in midst of all the other life events, it just wasn’t helping. Nothing seemed to be going right. I remember breaking down at lifegroup in the arms of two of my dear friends. Even now it’s been, what, 6 weeks? But it still hurts, it’s still fresh. Kitty’s gone. Gerald’s gone. College is over for now. But you know what? As much as none of things happening are okay, it’s okay, because God is here. God was holding me when I found Kitty. I was home alone and praying as I just kept petting Kitty for a while. God was there in Nana holding me tightly as she told me Gerald died. God was there as I came home that day from college realizing I might never go back and I had no clue what to do next. God was there with me every step of the way, and He’ll continue to be with me, every single moment of every day. He has never, ever, left me, and never will. Even now my heart breaks as this cycle seems to be starting over, more damaging events in my own life and family’s life that I can’t even speak of. But it’s okay. It’s all okay because God is here. He always was and always will be. And I am forever thankful for that.
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Melody C.God has given me the natural talent as a writer. I felt Him encourage me in the direction of using my natural skill in writing for Him, instead of investing in skills that were basically going to waste. I have been writing my whole life. I love to answer questions, give advice, and share experiences. I hope you enjoy it, and I pray that God speaks through me and to you. If there are ever any typos, please ignore them. They will be fixed as soon as I notice them. Archives
February 2019
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