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In case you haven’t noticed, things tend to take time. Especially good things. They need to develop, grow, prosper, and come together at the right time, in the right way. Timing is everything. When you’re driving and there’s a yellow light, you’re 100 feet away, but going 45 miles per hour. Can you stop safely in time? You have a friend that things are rough with right now. Do you think it’d be a good idea to take some time off? Or do you take the impatient route and quit the friendship altogether? Good things take time, and patience pays off. It’s better to take time with things so that they may be done correctly, instead of rushing them and ruining things. Just like how I tried to rush the relationship God has given me. That didn’t help it, at all. It’s one of those things that takes time. We have to get to know each other, we can’t just jump into something as serious as that. God is not constrained by the grips of “time”. In fact, time doesn’t really exist to God at all. He exists in the past, present, and future, all at the same time. Meaning God is not surprised by anything that happens. He’s already there. And for me, that is very comforting. If something happens, it's nice to know He's right there to hold me as it's happening. God's timing on things is almost always not the same time as when we want something to happen. I wanted a relationship right away. I wanted to grow up quickly, not realizing all the things that come with adulthood. I wanted so many things at so many different times. And God's timing is just different from my timing. His timing is perfect, His timing is well thought out, His timing makes sense. I feel like through my dog Harley, God has also taught me something about timing. Long story short, it's worth it to wait to receive things at the correct time rather than getting them too soon. I love dogs, but I knew I shouldn't get one, because I wasn't in a good place to do so. So when I got him, I was able to learn from God, “this is what happens when you get things at the wrong time.” It hurts you, and the other person involved. I was not ready for a relationship a year ago, but I begged for it. If I would've gotten it at that time, it would probably be over by now. It wouldn't have worked. But God, has a much better plan in mind than I do. Waiting on God may not seem exciting, and the process feels like a thousand years, but it is so well worth it. And it is so much more beautiful God's way! Things happening slowly are so much prettier than rushing into something and causing a huge mess. There are also times when things happen and we are not able to understand so easily. Sure, it makes sense to wait for something, but what do you do when something unexpected happens? You’ve probably noticed I usually mean someone has died, and you are correct. When I moved back here, I did my second half of 8th grade at middle school. I hadn’t seen most of those kids since 5th grade, and on top of that, a lot of them moved or switched schools. So when I started middle school here, I didn’t really know anybody but maybe 1 or 2 people. At least enough to have an actual conversation. I had gym class, and I met Tiffany and Chanel. They were hilarious, always doing goofy, funny things, always smiling, making stupid jokes and making me laugh constantly. We were all stupid together. We were the two musketeers, because Chanel said that since Tiffany and I were both only half black we only made up one musketeer, even though yes, technically, there were three of us. I had gotten so used to my church up north that when I moved here, I resented the church I had grown up in. It felt so far from me, and it didn’t feel like a family any more. I felt like I was forced to go there, and I was just miserable. I wanted to go back to Illinois, and the comfort of my old church. But that’s not where God wanted me. Moving along, my mother and a few other people really urged me to go to youth group. I didn’t want to go, at all. I, at the very least, did not want to go alone. I did go with my friend Angelica, and that was nice, but I was just so upset that it wasn’t my youth group from my church in Illinois. I didn’t know anyone. I was sad, lonely, angry, and incredibly distant and just unwilling to be there. But then I had a conversation with Tiffany, and she expressed similar feelings. She, too, wanted to go to youth group, but did not want to go alone. So we thought, hey, let’s go together! This was at the end of 8th grade, and I forgot about youth group for a little while. I finally got around to messaging Tiffany, asking if she would go to youth group with me. She replied, (paraphrasing here) “Oh yeah! We could next week, I’m going up to Tennessee this weekend, but we can go after I get back!” I said okay and it was a plan. Tiffany did not come home that weekend, nor the week after, or ever again. She died. I hadn’t lost a friend that way ever in my life, and I remember crying so hard in my room that my mother came running. My best friend had called me and told me the news, and my world just crashed. Tiffany, was dead? Gone? I couldn’t understand. I didn’t get the concept. But, God, I pleaded, we were going to go to youth group! I was about to make a new life long friend! I was going to go on crazy musketeer adventures with Tiffany and Chanel! It didn’t happen, and God didn’t tell me why. And I was sad, and I was angry, confused, to say the least. It was a lot at 14, in the middle of adjusting to moving, trying to get back into church, finally making friends, only for them to die. It didn’t make sense. But God was not surprised. He knew this would happen, and He was going to do something good with this situation. I couldn’t really see the good at the time of course, but over the past few years, I have seen a few blessings in my own life, in the form of Tiffany’s family. They have been amazing to me, loving me so much, and pushing me closer and closer to God. They’ve sponsored me for summer camps, retreats, weekends, just all of these amazing experiences that have changed my life for the better each time, and have drawn me drastically closer to God, teaching me something new, giving me a new perspective. All of these happened exactly when they were supposed to happen. Because God exists across all lengths of time all at the same time, you can trust that He is doing something with what is going on currently in your life. Continue to seek Him in everything, and remember that He does know best. He knows exactly when the best time for things to happen, or not, are. He knows exactly how long you’ll have to wait, and why. Like Ms. Kadie told us, “Ask God, ‘What do you want me to learn in this?’” Everything happens for a reason, and there are no mistakes. Remember, God is a God of second chances. If you feel like you’ve messed up His purpose or plan, remember that what He says still stands. He gives a second chance, and will give you a clean slate. Not saying you should push God, but just letting you know it isn’t over, or hopeless, if you mess up. Like how I chased down the man God gave me, even though that’s not my job. God fixed that, and made it clean, because I admitted my mistake, and asked Him to please fix what I had done. And things are good and new now. Don’t ever doubt that God is using a situation, because He uses every second of every day to point us down the direction He has for us, the Will and way for us to go. He loves us genuinely, and absolutely insanely deeply, and He is always here. Also keep in mind, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) and, “Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)
You are loved and God bless you! Thank you for reading, and I hope this helps you in some way! Melody (I did not proofread this, so ignore my mistakes. Thanks.)
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Forgiveness does not mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness does mean letting go of the fact they may never apologize to you for it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that apology, but letting it go sets you free. Freedom is found in letting go and forgiving. When you forgive, you’re taking that hurt and letting it go, out your control, no longer to be meditated on, etc.. It may not be easy, but you’d be surprised to find how beneficial it is for you to forgive. (you can always ask God to help you forgive someone) Some of us have mastered the art of stuffing things down inside of us, including hurt and pain. When we forgive, it sets that free, leaving space for God to fill in. God is faithful, and He will fill you with His love, joy, and peace once you that space is freed up. Sometimes you may have to forgive someone multiple times because the pain keeps rising up, and that’s okay, just keep bringing it to God. Eventually, you will be able to completely get over past hurts. You can’t truly live your life freely holding onto such things, anyway. Forgiveness is extremely important, and very necessary. It keeps you feeling lights, open, free, and receptive. Forgiveness is also necessary in all relationships. No matter how hard you try, no one is going to like you 100% of the time, except for God, really. And you won’t like everyone, even your closest friend, 100% of the time. I’ve been best friends with Melissa with over 10 years, and one time I was leaving her house and forgot my favorite crackers at her house, and she ate them. (Because she thought I was being nice and left them for her.) But all I did was get mad at her, and I didn’t let it go for months. (yes, over crackers I stayed angry.) But that’s a strain on our relationship, me harboring unforgiveness for that completely innocent act. I let it go eventually, and it became a joke much later on, but my point is that unforgiveness doesn’t weigh only you down and affect you, but it also harms your relationship with other people. Between myself and all my friends, and family members, I have had to learn to let things go and forgive them when they upset me, because I want the relationship to stay healthy, and grow. Because they love me, they will do the same thing; they’ll forgive me for being a butt sometimes. Reconciliation is necessary in certain cases, and really we should leave it up to God whether or not he wants us to directly reconcile with people. For example, when I realized how hurtful I had been to Melissa, I apologized for my behavior, and worked on forgiving myself and hoping she’d forgive me as well. But that was one of those times where I couldn’t have just let the situation stay up in the air and kept going on with life as if nothing was wrong, and as if what I had done wasn’t hurting our relationship, or her. I had to humble myself, go to her, openly and honestly admit my faults and offenses against her, and sincerely apologize. Forgiveness can take a lot of courage sometimes, but I assure you it is always worth it to choose forgiveness. This doesn’t mean let people walk all over you, but for more on that I would just suggest reading Boundaries:When to Say Yes, How to Say No by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. As my youth pastor Jim said, “Choose winning the friendship, not winning the fight.”
You are LOVED and God bless you!! When God revealed to me the man He promised me, I had expected us to be together immediately. I thought for the last three years, “When me and him finally meet, we’re going to recognize each other and be together right away.” That didn’t happen. Week one, I just watched him a lot, wondering what he knew. Week two or three maybe, frustration settled in and I wondered why he wasn’t coming after me. After a couple months, I was trying to make things go my way. This situation didn’t meet my expectations, and I wanted to change it. God obviously wasn’t hearing my demands, this guy was obviously not aware of my existence (even though in the back of my mind I knew that I had known him for over a year and he wasn’t going to suddenly forget me) and so on and so forth. Either way, things weren’t going MY way, so something was wrong, right? No, in reality, nothing was wrong. I just didn’t want to wait on God. I wasn’t waiting on God in the first place. Even recently, I thought I had stopped trying to control this situation, when in reality I had just changed my strategy, and I didn’t even notice until someone pointed it out to me. God has convicted me of not trusting Him in this either. God cannot lie, meaning if He promises us something, He must fulfill it. However, God does not exist for us. We exist for God and His glory. His glory and His holiness are above everything else, so while we might not understand everything that happens in our lives, it all points towards His glory, and “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28). Sometimes there are people in our life we expect to be there forever, but then they suddenly stop talking to us, or they leave town, or all of a sudden they die. Jake Kalicki was one of those people I expected to always be there. Ms. Sam, my youth leader from my old church, suddenly died this week, and I have no idea how. One of my best online friends blocked me all of a sudden, and though I eventually realized I had deserved it for how I had been treating her, it still leaves a burn mark on my heart. We look to God and say, “What do you expect me to do with this?” when in reality it’s God saying, “Trust me. You can expect of me to do something good with this.” While we may wish and dream everything in life would go our way, I can tell you right now expecting that is completely useless. Things will never go exactly our way. Sometimes I can pray to God for something, and I’ll have it immediately, before I even finish asking for it. Sometimes I pray for something, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Eventually, He does answer it and give to me whatever I asked for, just not when I had wanted Him to. God knows what’s best, which includes knowing when the perfect timing for something is. Maybe I want this relationship right now, and God wants it in 6 months. I could live the next 6 months frustrated, saying, “God, I expected more of you!” (Basically saying I expect God to live for me and my purposes instead of His) or I could have peace about it and say, “God, I have no idea when this is going to happen, but I trust You. And I expect You to make it happen in Your perfect timing, in Your perfect way, and do whatever You want to do with this situation so that it brings You glory.” I know God will do what He says, He has to. Maybe it won’t be when I want it, but it’ll happen. The Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years, my cousin had a 4% chance of living when he had leukemia as a baby and he is still here, alive and well. My Great Aunt has had pneumonia probably 9 or 10 times, and has holes in her lungs, but guess who’s at her own house looking great and gardening every day? God does some absolutely amazing things, and deserves all the glory for it. Okay, maybe the Cubs winning isn’t exactly godly, but what I’m saying is expect great things from God, always, even if you don’t know for sure how something will turn out. There will be sorrows in this life, He has promised us that, but expect Him to be there for you and with you in every life event, whether dark and sad or light and happy. God’s right here, and you can expect Him to be with you any day, anytime, anywhere, in any situation, always.
God bless you, you are LOVED!! Communication is extremely important in any place life brings you. You communicate with your boss what hours you can work, you communicate with your friends and significant other boundaries that need to be set, and you communicate to God through prayer. Relationships suffer when good communication doesn’t exist. When you communicate improperly, or not at all, there’s a lot of guessing, hidden feelings, and a distrust between the communicators. However, if those feelings stay hidden, if that distrust is never addressed, if those guesses and assumptions remain, the relationship could suddenly end. One of the people in the relationship could just suddenly blow up one day on the other one, ending a relationship that could’ve been salvaged if they had just communicated better. When you communicate with the other person, you want them to hear you out, and you should do the same. If you have a friend that has communicated to you that they are not comfortable with you swearing so much, respect them and watch your mouth. Just like if you would communicate to them that you don’t like how they always choose the place to hangout, you hope they’d respect you and let you pick a few places. There are so many things to be accomplished through communication, like clearing up any assumptions. Maybe you’re not sure if someone is angry at you or not, or you're not sure if they still like you or not. Ask. Maybe you can’t quite remember what kind of flowers your friend likes. Ask. Maybe something happened in your life and you are not sure why. Look to God, and ask. There have been many instances in my life where friendships have been saved through good communication. Friendships have also ended when I decided to not respect what my friends had been trying to communicate. Communicate well, and listen well. You’ll never get your point across, know for sure what someone is thinking, or understand a situation if you choose not to communicate and listen. In some chances, communication may be difficult. Have a friend go with you to support whatever you are trying to say. Write out what you feel, draw it. Just get out how you feel, and what you want to say to the other person, no matter how you have to do it, as long as you are respectful in the process. If someone doesn’t want to listen, you can’t make them. If they don’t want to change, you can’t change them. Communicate exactly how you feel, and go from there. Have a support group if necessary, just get out what you have to say. Out of all of your relationships, your relationship with God is the most important. God can handle your questions, your sadness, your joy, your anger, however you are feeling, and He genuinely cares about how you feel, and what you have to say. He won’t turn away because you yelled at Him, He’ll come closer. He wants to help, heal, and comfort. But He can’t do that unless we put ourselves aside first. See, God is communicating with us all the time just like how we are communicating with Him. Maybe for you, God shows Himself and says, “I love you.” through sunrises, maybe you see a hummingbird after each prayer, maybe your favorite song comes on, at just the right time, and you know it's for you. God communicates to all of us His love for us in both little and big ways. Whenever I see a dandelion seed fly through the air, I know it’s God saying, “I am with you. I am right here.” when I see “333” I know it’s God saying He’s right there, or He’s pointing me towards something. And when I put on my crown, my cross, and look in the mirror each morning, I remember how God sees me, how much He loves me, and that I am His daughter, and nothing could ever take that away from me. Talk to God, whenever! If you have something on your heart, let it out! If there’s something you want to say to someone, say it. Be bold. God’s right here, waiting to help you, guide you, and love you. He is with you, always. Listen to Him when He speaks, through His word, through the little signs and symbols you two have between each other, and sometimes through other people. Get to know God, so when you have that mix of voices and directions on what to do, you’ll be able to identify His, and follow it.
“27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.” John 10:27-30 |
Melody C.God has given me the natural talent as a writer. I felt Him encourage me in the direction of using my natural skill in writing for Him, instead of investing in skills that were basically going to waste. I have been writing my whole life. I love to answer questions, give advice, and share experiences. I hope you enjoy it, and I pray that God speaks through me and to you. If there are ever any typos, please ignore them. They will be fixed as soon as I notice them. Archives
February 2019
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