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A letter to my future husband, from May 30, 2016.
Okay so I kind of suck and haven't written to you in a while. Kind of nerdy of me, but I go in phases of being obsessed with "dear future husband/wife" stuff, dating, relationships, marriages, etc. I've learned a lot most definitely, and it's probably a weird way to say it, but I want to exercise my knowledge. Just how I like answering questions and taking tests on subjects I know a lot about., I want to show that I'm ready, and I truly believe I am. The only thing is, what has been brought to my mind tonight is that I need to get stereotypes out of my head. Stereotypes that say "all men cheat eventually" and "men only like women with a decent breast size". I'm 5'6", and lengthy, but still petite to some degree. Much smaller than you, haha. I'm glad you are as big as you are, it made me love my height, because I didn't like it before I knew you. You're probably wondering why I haven't mentioned God yet, and I meant to at the like, third sentence, but that didn't happen. What I am trying to lead up to is that God comes first. And that's honestly very hard for me. I'm so ready for you in the way that I've read so many dating books, and articles, and all from Christian perspectives. I've written so many letters, learned so much, did a bunch of research, and really know my stuff. But I'm insecure, and I kind of suck at having God at my center. I still swear sometimes, and I'm really aggressive. Attractive, I know. What I'm really, truly wondering tonight is, where does that line get drawn? Where do I become "good enough" to know and meet you, but "human enough" to let my imperfections be imperfections, and not worry too much? For example, could we still meet while I have body image issues? Or will God hold off our meeting till then? Will God only let us meet when I have 100 consecutive days in a row of talking to Him for a decent amount of time? Will he hold me off from you until I forgive certain people? Is there something I should've done, or been doing? All I need to do, is stay within the will of God. But dating a girl who is insecure, imperfect, aggressive and a little shallow, is something I can't exactly imagine you dreaming about. In many cases, I've realized, you, art, or some other thing has become my God, and I have to realign myself. Depending on, and surrendering to, God is also difficult for me. I always see you as this tall, loving man, with as much fashion sense as me (none). I think you like pictures, and you're not super "huggy/touchy" but you let me hold you. You, I really don't doubt, are the kind that will spoil me. Not with jewelry per say, but like those annoying wives on HGTV that get the house even though their husband hates it. I'd like to avoid that! My explanation of that isn't the best, but hopefully you get it, and my weirdness in general. Dolly, I don't know where you are, what you're doing, what you're really like, or any big, significant thing about you. I just know you, my darling love, are worth waiting for. And for you, that's all I want to be, too. A godly woman worth waiting for; a woman worth day dreaming and yearning for. A woman God has designed, and is exactly what you need and deserve. I know God made me for you (Second to Him) and vice versa, but I just really want to be in that place where I'm good enough, ready, for you. And I want to be patient enough to give you time and space to be ready, too. Lots of love, Melody :3
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Melody C.God has given me the natural talent as a writer. I felt Him encourage me in the direction of using my natural skill in writing for Him, instead of investing in skills that were basically going to waste. I have been writing my whole life. I love to answer questions, give advice, and share experiences. I hope you enjoy it, and I pray that God speaks through me and to you. If there are ever any typos, please ignore them. They will be fixed as soon as I notice them. Archives
February 2019
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