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Forgiveness does not mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness does mean letting go of the fact they may never apologize to you for it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that apology, but letting it go sets you free. Freedom is found in letting go and forgiving. When you forgive, you’re taking that hurt and letting it go, out your control, no longer to be meditated on, etc.. It may not be easy, but you’d be surprised to find how beneficial it is for you to forgive. (you can always ask God to help you forgive someone) Some of us have mastered the art of stuffing things down inside of us, including hurt and pain. When we forgive, it sets that free, leaving space for God to fill in. God is faithful, and He will fill you with His love, joy, and peace once you that space is freed up. Sometimes you may have to forgive someone multiple times because the pain keeps rising up, and that’s okay, just keep bringing it to God. Eventually, you will be able to completely get over past hurts. You can’t truly live your life freely holding onto such things, anyway. Forgiveness is extremely important, and very necessary. It keeps you feeling lights, open, free, and receptive. Forgiveness is also necessary in all relationships. No matter how hard you try, no one is going to like you 100% of the time, except for God, really. And you won’t like everyone, even your closest friend, 100% of the time. I’ve been best friends with Melissa with over 10 years, and one time I was leaving her house and forgot my favorite crackers at her house, and she ate them. (Because she thought I was being nice and left them for her.) But all I did was get mad at her, and I didn’t let it go for months. (yes, over crackers I stayed angry.) But that’s a strain on our relationship, me harboring unforgiveness for that completely innocent act. I let it go eventually, and it became a joke much later on, but my point is that unforgiveness doesn’t weigh only you down and affect you, but it also harms your relationship with other people. Between myself and all my friends, and family members, I have had to learn to let things go and forgive them when they upset me, because I want the relationship to stay healthy, and grow. Because they love me, they will do the same thing; they’ll forgive me for being a butt sometimes. Reconciliation is necessary in certain cases, and really we should leave it up to God whether or not he wants us to directly reconcile with people. For example, when I realized how hurtful I had been to Melissa, I apologized for my behavior, and worked on forgiving myself and hoping she’d forgive me as well. But that was one of those times where I couldn’t have just let the situation stay up in the air and kept going on with life as if nothing was wrong, and as if what I had done wasn’t hurting our relationship, or her. I had to humble myself, go to her, openly and honestly admit my faults and offenses against her, and sincerely apologize. Forgiveness can take a lot of courage sometimes, but I assure you it is always worth it to choose forgiveness. This doesn’t mean let people walk all over you, but for more on that I would just suggest reading Boundaries:When to Say Yes, How to Say No by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. As my youth pastor Jim said, “Choose winning the friendship, not winning the fight.”
You are LOVED and God bless you!!
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Melody C.God has given me the natural talent as a writer. I felt Him encourage me in the direction of using my natural skill in writing for Him, instead of investing in skills that were basically going to waste. I have been writing my whole life. I love to answer questions, give advice, and share experiences. I hope you enjoy it, and I pray that God speaks through me and to you. If there are ever any typos, please ignore them. They will be fixed as soon as I notice them. Archives
February 2019
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